General Questions
Yes! We’ve found that with the foster-to-adopt program, there are usually “sibling groups” that are best to be placed/adopted together. We got blessed with biological sisters!
Isn’t parenting pretty complex in general? Each one of your children are going to have different strengths and weaknesses. As parents, we need to help each child succeed to the best of their abilities.
My first piece of advice would be to try to “Give it to God.” Of course, you have to do the work, but stressing about it does not help. Believe me, I’ve stressed all about it! lol. Once I finally laid down all my cares to the Lord, He gave me so much more peace. My second piece of advice would be “Get ready for a rollercoaster of emotions and find ways to relax.” Some days you feel so joyful, other days you can be so frustrated and angry with the foster care system and all the legalities. It’s so hard to do (at least for me), but it’s best to try to “go with the flow.”
Experts consider separation from birth parents – even as an infant – as a traumatic event. Therefore, every adopted child experiences early trauma in at least one form. Many experience additional trauma before adoption. With that being said, you need to be aware of this and know when to seek therapy/additional help for your child.
Foster-To-Adopt Questions
You can find a comprehensive guide on how to foster-to-adopt here.
It took 9 months from being licensed to receiving our first placement. However, it was about 1 year from the time we submitted our application to receive a placement. We should note, that we DID NOT drag our feet at all. Every time paperwork was due, our worker received it from us weeks before the deadline. UPDATE (2022): From sending in our initial paperwork to adoption, the process was about 3 years. Read more about the timeline here.
Each state should have multiple foster care programs. With traditional foster care, you are the first family to take care of a child after they have been removed from their biological family. In most cases, the biological parent will take the appropriate steps to remedy the situation that caused the child(ren) to be removed. In that case, the child(ren) can be reunified with them. However, in the foster-to-adopt program, you are the second or third family to care for the child(ren). This is because the biological parents have not taken the steps to remedy their lives (after about a year+) and the courts realize that an adoptive family is most likely needed for the child(ren). At this point, the biological parent(s) have one last chance to remedy their situation before TPR (Termination of Parental Rights) takes place and the child(ren) can be legally adopted. Read more about the process here.
We have heard this question a few times, as many people don’t think about adoption until it’s the “last resort.” Both Kevin and I are able to have biological children, we just choose not to. We, especially me (Amanda), have wanted to adopt since I was much younger. It just felt “right” to me! I truly feel that God led us down this path because our daughters were absolutly meant for us!
Feel free to email me with specific questions. I’m happy to answer them! However, to quickly summarize, we currently do not have a relationship with them as they have been deemed “unsafe” for our daughters to have a relationship with. In a way, it feels like a blessing in disguise but feel free to reach out for more info.
More questions? I have answers!
Yes, absolutely! Please feel free to email me at RaydiantLove@gmail.com